|
|
The Sort Story of Richeet
Last post 06-02-2008, 4:01 PM by AKwoof. 9 replies.
-
05-12-2008, 10:20 PM |
-
Emberstone
-
-
-
Joined on 04-18-2008
-
You'll never guess-Earth
-
Posts 223
-
-
|
The Sort Story of Richeet
Ok, first of all harvest mice are only an inch tall and way only about1/4 oz, or 7g. This is the story of Richeet, a young harvest mouse in The U.S. , although he was from England- a little boy caught him for a pet and took him on a plain. Now, he lives in Central park by himself under a beech tree. But he gets in big trouble when 2 robbers come to his home. This is his story.
Richeet scrambled up a weed stem to get a better view of his surroundings. Unfortunatly, this is as high as he can get, because he is to small to climb a tree and his claws aren't strong enough to scrabble up a big boulder. Richeet is always on the look out for some type of transportation that could get him back home to a flower garden in London. "Drat, I need to get higher!" Richeet grumbled. " But how? Just then, he heard a rustling down below. And he smelt something. Intruders.
Richeet hurried down the weed stem and followed the peculiar scent to the entrance of his beech home. when he came out of the tunnle and into his nest area, he saw them. Two large house mice. One had only half a tail. The other one didn't even have a tail. Both of them seased in their rumaging an stared at Richeet. " Hey punk," Said the one with a half tail. " This is our loot. Go find your own own dump to highjack." " This dump just happens to be my home". Growled Richeet. " And i don't take the matter of burglers lightly".
" Hey, Mac! This one has an acsent! Where do you think he's from? China?" The no-tail Squeeked. The half-tail, Mac, rolled his eyes. " It's British, pete! Get'em!" The two burglars lunged at Richeet, but he was too quick for them. He leaped onto his nest and pulled out two swords ( two pointed ends of toothpicks ) and pointed them at his attackers. " Woa, woa, put those away, man!" Squeeked Pete! " Yeah, no need to get violent!" Agreed Mac. Richeet just glared at them. '' Oh, yes. Because everybody knows that charging at someone to hurt them isn't violent!"
" Well, you have weapons! All we have are claws." Mac said. Wearily, Richeet lowered his swords. " Go." "Ok, bud." With that, the two house mice turned and padded twards the tunnle. Suddenly, they both twisted back twards Richeet, knocked the srowrd out of his paws, and pinned him to the ground. " Yeah, the day a puny whimp like you tells us what to do is the day i tango with a cat on Mars." Sneered Mac. Pete just laughed stupidly.
Pete held Richeet down as mac came closer, holding one of Richeet's swords to his throught. " Now," He growled."Tell me where your food storage is, maybe evn a few treasures, too. Then, we might not hurt ya too badly." Richeet did not answer. " Let me ask ya again." Mac kicked Richeet in the stomach. He squeeled in pain. " Where-are-your-valuables?" Mac snarled through clenced teeth.
Richeet went limp right after the brute kicked him. He was dead! Or was he? " Uh, I think you may have kicked him a bit hard, Mac". Stated Pete. At this, Mac loosened his grip. Seasing the moment, Richeet jolted out of his fake death and raked his back legs down Mac's belly. " Yeeouch!" He howled as he backed away, clutching his belly , and dropping the sword. Pete took afew seconds to comprehend what was going on long enough for Richeet to wiggle out from under Pete's massive paws and kick him in the face. As P ete lumbered away in pain, Richeet grabbed his swords and pointed them once again, but more threateningly at the robbers. " Get out! Now!" He squeeked in rage. Both house mice got up, ran around in a terrified, paniced circle, and ran into eachother. They both got up and dashed out the tunnle. Richeet followed them outside and watched them run across the feild, across the bridge and into the thicket. " And don't come back!" Richeet shouted, although the robbers were probably out of range now. With a smirk on his face, Richeet decided to make a fence later and went back into his den for a well deserevd nap. The End
Ok peeps i know that ending sucked but this is like my first time ever posting up a story with an actual plot. I don't know how to write good story. Any tips?
Salutations! I am sad. The forums are shutting down. But there iz still hope! Todaloo!
|
|
-
05-13-2008, 9:41 PM |
-
AKwoof
-
-
-
Joined on 08-16-2007
-
The 24th Century
-
Posts 593
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
I think you did a pretty good job with this story. It would be even better if you found a way to continue.
 Thanks Firesong for the awesome sig!
|
|
-
05-19-2008, 6:04 PM |
-
Emberstone
-
-
-
Joined on 04-18-2008
-
You'll never guess-Earth
-
Posts 223
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Sorry that i haven't been writing! I need to be inspired for the next part of Richeet's adventures in NYC. Must think! ( Richeet crosses his arms waiting for her to write his story ).
Salutations! I am sad. The forums are shutting down. But there iz still hope! Todaloo!
|
|
-
05-19-2008, 6:45 PM |
-
Emberstone
-
-
-
Joined on 04-18-2008
-
You'll never guess-Earth
-
Posts 223
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Tada! I have an idea! It may not be as good as last time, but who knows...
Raindrops pitter-pattered onto the ground. It has been drizzling like this for three days, and the good thing was that Richeet wasn't getting any trouble since those goons tried to rob him the week before. Now, he was out and about looking for food. As he scuttled under a bench, a human sat down above him, dropping sandwich crums. After waiting afew moments, the human got up and left. A large gust of wind came by, blowing a magazine out of its paws, flowing down the trail. Not wanting to go after it,the human gave an angry growl, it truged off. Curious, Richeet wandered over to the magazine and crawled under. Lokking above, he saw one pannle with a highly decorated human, but another one with a large white bird. Airplanes! Thought Richeet. Since he could read alittle bit, he studied the human scribble until he found the location. " Finaly! I'll set off tomarrow." Squeeked Richeet with exitement. This was the first time he had felt truly happy since the day he left his beloved home.
The next day, with a small sack full of seeds and his swords on his back, Richeet set off on his journey to the airport. He left the park an hour ago and was now wandering down an allyway next to an icecream shop. He heard a shuffling noise behind him, and when he turned around, nothing was there. Richeet went on. After afew long moments, something pounced onto his back, the weight crushing his small body. His sack was taken and so were his weapons. The Hideous scent of carrion and rotten fruit engulfed him, with a big black claw covering his mussle. Richeet squirmed and struggled but a wave of pain struck him as something heavy pounded onto his head. He saw only vague shapes for a second, but then all went black.
Okee-dokee, the beginning may have been slow, but I hope you liked the end. What will happen? Will Richeet get to the airport? Who captured him? Why am I asking you all of these guestions?
Todaloo!
Salutations! I am sad. The forums are shutting down. But there iz still hope! Todaloo!
|
|
-
05-19-2008, 8:45 PM |
-
AKwoof
-
-
-
Joined on 08-16-2007
-
The 24th Century
-
Posts 593
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Good chapter.
 Thanks Firesong for the awesome sig!
|
|
-
05-20-2008, 6:50 PM |
-
Emberstone
-
-
-
Joined on 04-18-2008
-
You'll never guess-Earth
-
Posts 223
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Thanks! I'm just a bit bumbed that you are the only peep here who reads this, ah well. I'll post again soon!
Salutations! I am sad. The forums are shutting down. But there iz still hope! Todaloo!
|
|
-
05-26-2008, 11:35 AM |
-
Emberstone
-
-
-
Joined on 04-18-2008
-
You'll never guess-Earth
-
Posts 223
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Richeet slowly opened his eyes. Where am I ? he wondered, his head still throbbing a bit. Looking around, he saw that he was in some sort of large, human room, with no winows, but just a dim hanging lamp, a very large box, a very fat pillow, and a door, which was shut.
Then Richeet noticed that his weapons were gone, and so was his food supply. He got up, looking for a way out of the peculiar room. When he tried to step forward, he couldn't. He was stuck to something-a fly trap! While he struggled to break loose of the sticky paper, the pillow got up and started to lumber tawords him. Huge paws padded against the ground. Long, white wiskers swayed. Green eyes stared menacingly, and hungerly, at Richeet. And apparently, the large persian decided that the harvest mouse was a prepared meal. Richeet squeeked silently to himself in fear-he felt as if he might as well say, " hey! Fat guy! Hungry? I'm juicy! Eat me, please! " But he didn't, ofcourse.
The cat, though, was taking quite a while to get to his side of the room. Then Richeet noticed something-if he tried to shift some of his weight forward, the paper moved under his paws. Think of it as one giant skii. He lunged right, left, and so on. He was getting closer to the door! When he reached it , the cat was in pouncing distance already. He tried to dive under the door, but the paper stuck to it. With one great, forceful lunge, Richeet dove under the door, leaving the paper stuck there, and he heared a big SMACK! Apparently, the fat creature didn't have enough brains to realize that the mouse was already gone.
Heading off, Richeet saw many large, wooden things standing all around him.There were also windows up ahead. Looking through them, he saw it was night time. He scuttled over to a desk, climbed up one of the table legs, and crept onto the desk. He spotted a pamplet, which read : Dave's Piano Shop. "So-ya like pianos? " Richeet spun around and came face to face with a big black house mouse. He had afew nicks in his ear and his wiskers were bent up. He had a long, skinny tail.
I'll continue again later. The next chapter in this tale will be way better.
Salutations! I am sad. The forums are shutting down. But there iz still hope! Todaloo!
|
|
-
05-27-2008, 9:55 PM |
-
AKwoof
-
-
-
Joined on 08-16-2007
-
The 24th Century
-
Posts 593
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
I'm curious if you also posted Star Trek stories on fanfiction.net? Your questions at the end of the 2nd chapter reminded me of an author there. (I don't go there anymore, though, because I got spywear, or at least almost got spywear, from one of the pop-ups.)
Anyway, good chapter.
 Thanks Firesong for the awesome sig!
|
|
-
05-30-2008, 6:50 PM |
-
Emberstone
-
-
-
Joined on 04-18-2008
-
You'll never guess-Earth
-
Posts 223
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Thanks again for replying!
I've heard of Star trek, but I've never seen even one episode. And I've never been to fanfiction.net.
Ritcheet stared at the mouse with suprise, curiosity,wearyiness, and suspicion all at the same time. " Who are you?" he squeeked. " Silly mouse! Have you not heard of me ? " The stranger replied. " No," said Richeet.' " Really?" the stranger said, only this time sounding more dissapointed. Richeet nodded. " Oh.." said the stranger, but then he quikly got that fierce look back into his eyes. " I am the king of thieves! I own the territory all the way from the old theater to the park! I'm the master of deseption! The ruler of cunning! The-" But before the king of thieves could finish his sentence, Richeet was all ready shimmying down the desk leg. " Hey! Come back!" the mouse squeeked at richeet, almost indignantly. He went after the harvest mouse, ran past him, and stood in his way." You have trest past on my lands, and now you must duel for your life! " Richeet thought for a moment. His first thought was, " Geez, this country is weird, but then it changed to, " Well, if he really is a king, which I highly doubt, it would be more respectful to duel him. This is apparently his territory. But even if he's not, It wouldn't hurt to get rid of my boredom." "All right, fine, I'll fight you, er, your majesty. " Said Richeet, pulling out his swords. The so called king sighed. " Weapons bore me, " he mumbled. " Do you know how to fight with your claws " " Well, yes, but-" Richeet was cought off when the king squeeked, " Good! Then on the count of three.. one, two, Three!" he dove for Richeet, only missing him by half a centimeter. Richeet quikly faced him and gave him a smack in the ear. The king countered that attack by swiftly nipping at Richeet's claw, making the field mouse zoom in the opposite direction, twards a diplay piano. He scurried up the leg, the king right behind him. When they both reached the top, Richeet spun around and tried to head-but the theif king off balance, but failed as his apponent threw his weight onto Richeet. Panicing as the breath was being forcefuly removed from his tiny lungs, Richeet saw the bigger mouse's tail. It swayed back and forth, right infront of his face. Seasing his chance, the harvest moused clenched his jaws right on the tip. With a suprized squeel, the king let his grip go, and Richeet sped to the far end of the piano, and leaped down onto the keys. When the king cought up with him, his eyes were swelling with anger. " Enough with this play fighting! " He screeched. " Time to battle the real way ! '' The king launched himself at Richeet, grazing his ear. The two rodents went up and down the keys, fighting like knigts. Weirdly enough, the tune from the keys actualy sounded a small bit like the theme from Canon. Suddenly, Richeet lost his balance on the edge of an A key. his back paw slipped, then his other back paw,until the other half of his body was beginning to slowly slide off." Say goodbye, micro-brain! " The king squeeked in dark delight. Then a shout below came up to their ears. " Russo ! What in world are you doing!? " Looking up at the king's ( who was apparently Russo ) face, Richeet saw guilt, annoyance, and surprize. Richeet followed his gaze until his met an old, grey she-mouse, who looked cross and also annoyed. " I..." Began Russo. " I, um-" " You were bullying another innocent trveler?You and your little gang of buddies! What will I have to do with you?" Interupted the she-mouse. She seemed pretty darn angry with Russo, making her look a little scared of her. Richeet decided that he would rather fight Russo. " Help him up and both of you get down here!" She continued. After Richeet and Russo got back onto the floor, the she-mouse looked at Russo, then Richeet, then to Russo again. " You get back home right now, Russo! Before I tell ya mother where you've been! " She squeeked fiercly.With a quick, angry glance at Richeet, he scurried off into the direction of a door behind the clerk desk. The she-mouse turned her attention tAwards the harvest mouse, with a more gentle looking face. " Don't worry about him- he just pretends to be a tough guy." " er, he said that he was a king, " Richeet began. " The king of thieves or something another." The elderly mouse rolled her black eyes. " Oh yeah, he's some king alright. He gets frieked out even if he just sees a photo of the cat! follow me, you seem very tired. I know where you can rest." With all four of his paws hurting from running all over the place and fighting for dear life, Richeet followed her, very much wanting rest.
Salutations! I am sad. The forums are shutting down. But there iz still hope! Todaloo!
|
|
-
06-02-2008, 4:01 PM |
-
AKwoof
-
-
-
Joined on 08-16-2007
-
The 24th Century
-
Posts 593
-
-
|
Re: The Sort Story of Richeet
Great chapter. ![Big Smile [:D]](/emoticons/emotion-2.gif)
 Thanks Firesong for the awesome sig!
|
|
|
|